Continuing on with our theme (man, we love theme posts so much), let’s explore what your favorite Disney prince or princess says about you…
It's an easy mistake; a lot of beds look like coffins
Prince Ferdinand
- You’re a romantic.
- You love grand gestures.
- You’ve always wanted to be serenaded.
- You’re sure he’s not really a necrophiliac.
Whistle while you work
Snow White
- You’re peppy and have a can-do attitude.
- You’re a traditionalist.
- You wish you had those little animal helpers.
- You really bought into that “fairest of them all” thing.
So regal!
Prince Charming
- You want to be taken care of in a relationship. You’ve earned it, haven’t you?
- You like a partner of status.
- You’re a sucker for the classics.
- You like a man who can work a shoulder pad.
She works hard for the money, eh-eh, eh-eh
Cinderella
- You like a girl who isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty.
- “The ends justify the means” probably rings true for you.
- You can make a date with a curfew work.
- You might have a foot fetish.
I mean what else could Aurora have been dreaming about?
Prince Philip
- You like a man who will fight for you.
- You believe in soulmates.
- You’ve been known to be a little reckless in the name of romance.
- You probably have a lot of sex dreams.
I could really go for a nap.
Princess Aurora aka Sleeping Beauty
- You just can’t resist that hair.
- You have a strong opinion on the “pink or blue” debate.
- Punctuality isn’t terribly important to you.
- Which is good, because sleeping for 100 years can really do a number on your body clock.
*insert obligatory inappropriate bestiality joke here*
Prince Adam
- You like a challenge.
- Rough around the edges is just your style.
- I mean, the library was just his cold open. Who knows what other tricks he’s got up his sleeve.
- You’re pretty open-minded, aren’t you?
"In the great wide somewhere" has to be a euphemism, right?
Belle
- You have a GoodReads account.
- A good conversation is like foreplay for you.
- You’ve fantasized about doing it in that library.
- You can identify with anthropomorphizing your furniture.
Or maybe it's just them baby blues.
Prince Eric
- You like ’em cute, brains be damned!
- You’ve always wanted to have sex on a boat.
- You’re into architecture. DAT CASTLE, AMIRITE?
- You have a thing for sailors.
No no, we want to be a part of your world!
Ariel
- Hey, I heard you like the wild ones…
- You’re definitely curious about the whole mermaid anatomy thing.
- You have a weakness for redheads.
- You know the original ending wasn’t happy, but you’re not complaining.
Something about that crooked smile.
Aladdin
- What can you say? You like the bad boys.
- You love a man who works with animals.
- Your date nights are certainly never boring.
- Well, until recently he was the only Disney prince of color…
One of two Princesses with bellybuttons.
Princess Jasmine
- Just thinking about that long, dark hair makes you all weak at the knees.
- You dig a woman who doesn’t take shit from anybody, especially society.
- You can’t help but be intrigued by a woman who has a tiger for a pet.
- You miiiight be one of those creeps who refers to people as “exotic”
Dat jaw!!
Prince Naveen
- You can’t resist a flirt.
- You love a partner you can party with.
- You’re a sucker for an accent.
- You love that he helps you let loose every now and then.
Not the frog version. Unless you're into that.
Tiana
- Hello, beignets? The way to your heart is definitely through your stomach.
- She got her own thing, that’s why you love her!
- Family is important to you.
- Because when you heard there was going to be a Black Disney princess, you stood up and screamed, “YES! FINALLY!”
"Hi" indeed.
Prince Eugene aka Flynn Rider
- You like ’em mouthy.
- A good sense of humor turns you on.
- You can appreciate a fine leather boot.
- You probably like Aladdin, too. It’s the thief thing, isn’t it?
You'll find a sexual use for those frying pans if it kills you.
Rapunzel
- To describe you as bubbly would be an understatement.
- You thought you were the only one who was still into ventriloquism.
- People may confuse you for a hipster, but you’re just legitimately enthusiastic about odd things.
- You miss fingerpainting.
NOT-QUITE-CANON BONUS LADIES ROUND!
brb saving china
Mulan
- You like a date who could also be your sparring partner.
- You’re not only okay with crossdressing, you’re a little curious.
- You respect people who think on their feet.
Let's not get bogged down in historical accuracy, baby.
Pocahontas
- You know she could have done better than John Smith.
- You’re outdoorsy, possibly an adrenaline junkie.
- You’re secretly Nakoma? (Hey, we ship it.)
File under: princesses who could easily kick your ass and be home in time to rule the nation.
Kida
- You have excellent taste.
- You might be obsessed with Cree Summer.
- We should hang out.
NSFW BONUS DUDES ROUND!
Visit this DeviantArt gallery to see your favorite Disney princes and other leading men like never before! Warning: May cause confusing feelings in your swimsuit area and/or ruin your innocent childhood.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
xoxo,
E
Where’s Shang?!?!
I know, I know! Here’s what happened: as soon as I added Shang, I wanted to add eeeeverybody and length became an issue. I limited myself to what I thought was the canon lineup, but as it turns out Shang/Mulan and John Smith/Pocahontas are official Princes and Princesses (Kida’s still unofficial, unfortunately), so I guess I owe y’all some princely facts!
If your favorite Prince is Shang,
*You’re as swift as a coursing river.
*You possess all the force of a great typhoon.
*You have all the strength of a raging fire.
*You’re mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
*You probably also make dirty “bowstaff” jokes.
If your favorite Prince is John Smith,
*You had a crush on Mel Gibson. You know, back in ’95 when it was still okay.
*You have a lot of patience for some White Nonsense.
*You believe anyone can learn from their mistakes.
*You don’t have a lot of dealbreakers.